100-word Friday Fictioneers 12

STORMING THE GATES
Camden had heard the stories since he was a little boy: derelict prison camps spread across the Midwest; unseen by all but a chosen few who knew of their eventual purpose. At the time, he considered the stories little more than overblown fodder for the conspiracy nuts who routinely loitered in his father’s barbershop.

Then he saw a camp with is own eyes.

To the average person, it was nothing more than an empty parcel of land surrounded by barbed wire. But Camden knew there wasΒ much more.

He also knew he had to do something.

But as he’d come to learn all too well, no one ever listened to the conspiracy nuts.

37 thoughts on “100-word Friday Fictioneers 12

  1. Scary! I think you and Doug should get together and discuss your conspiracies!
    This is nicely paced, John and I admire the hope and despair you balance in the boy’s outlook

  2. HI … Enjoyed this and I agree with Elmo. Go over and read Doug’s. You seem to be on the same page this week. I like the boy in your story. He is wise enough to realize no one will believe him. Wonder how he found the place. Would like to read more. Nice take on the prompt. Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    • Thanks, Lora. The good thing about these 100 word stories is that they tend to raise more questions than answers, which always leaves you wanting more. I’m glad the story worked for you!

    • Unquantified horror. Hmmm, I really like that! πŸ™‚ Thanks for stopping by, Sandra. As always, your comments are very much appreciated!

    • I had the same reaction when I pictured the empty space. I guess it goes back to that old writing adage – imagined horror is so much more potent than anything that can be put into words. Great feedback. Thank you!

  3. Well I could not say it better than your pinion post friend. When we were growing up in the 60’s, we kept hearing that there were plans to move the hippies into concentration camps in New Mexico! Or something like that, but it is a very real fear. It is not as thought it has not happened before – and not just once, either. Good story.
    Laura

    • Thanks for the comments, Lindaura. This was one of more difficult stories for me to write, mostly because of my strong thoughts on the subject. Most of what I write can be classified as fantasy. This one felt a little more real. And that’s a lot more frightening than any boogey man I could ever conjure up.

  4. Wow, great tale, John! I really liked the description and the knowledge, adding up only to frustration. Well done. I want to know how this will play out. πŸ™‚

  5. Mel Gibson- Conspiracy Theory! What is in this mysterious, barb wired camp. I’m guessing experiments. Thanks for allowing my imagination run wild. Cool story. πŸ™‚

  6. Dear John,

    Your story is striking in its simplicity and dead on in the accurate assessment of its young protagonist. Even reading the comments above you can see that few yet believe that it is happening.

    Couldn’t happen here, right?

    Ever hopeful that someone else will fix the bridge that is out before we get there, the people of this country keep buying the big lie and driving on.

    I’ll see you in camp. (And that’s the best compliment I can give.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • The alternate title was ‘Burning The Gates’. Same concept. I’ll definitely see you in camp. In the meantime, keep a watchful eye on that island sky. I hear it’s been kinda cloudy…

      Thanks as always, D.

  7. Very interesting concept. Kind of freaky to think the conspiracy nuts maybe be the only sane ones among us!

  8. Wow! The hair on the back of my neck is still prickling–reminded me of the para-military compound that was discovered right in the backyard of where my mother and her family grew up. That’s some serious “stuff.” Well written!

    • This story may be scary, but the fact that your mother actually saw one is terrifying! Serious “stuff” indeed! Thanks for the comments.

    • I love them as well! In this case, there was no Doug-John conspiracy. But who’s to say there won’t be one in the future? You want in? πŸ™‚

      Thanks for the comments, Susan. Much appreciated!

    • That was the first thing I saw when the prompt came my way. I had a feeling the prison theme would be a popular one, so I tried to find a different angle on it. I’m glad you stopped by to take a look. Oh, and don’t feel bad, my story was a day late. As long as we get it written, right? πŸ™‚

  9. In my job I travel all over the place and I see these empty fenced places topped with razor wire sometimes. Some are obviously abandoned prisons, some aren’t. This made me think of them. Now you have me thinking…… Hmmm

    • That was certainly the idea… πŸ™‚

      I’ve never actually seen one in person, but the mental image I conjured up was disturbing enough. The things that have – or could – go on in a place like that. It’s definitely enough to make you shudder a little.

      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, Amanda. I’m really glad you stopped in!

    • Thank you, Joanna! I really appreciate the great feedback! There’s definitely a longer story in there somewhere. Someday I may even be brave enough to tell it! πŸ™‚

      I’ll be making my way to your story soon.

YOUR rants, observations or musings

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s